Joti's Literary Kitchen

"walang exact science"

2010-07-30T06:32:00.001-07:00

had a very interesting talk with a patient..."Sabi kasi ng dati kong doctor, yung sakit ko ay di kayang iexplain at walang exact science, kaya naman nawala ang bilib ko sa mga duktor... Naisip kong alam ng Diyos kung ano'ng sakit ko, at mas naniwala ako na si God ang magpapagaling sa akin. Kaya di na ako nag-follow-up at itinigil ko na lahat ng artificial na gamot. Tanggap ko na ang sakit ko, Doc. Alam ko na binabantayan ako ni Lord. Mas naintindihan ko Siya dahil sa sakit ko. Enlightened ako ngayon dahil na rin sa sakit ko. Pero nitong mga huling araw, inuubo ako kaya nahihirapan ako makatulog...sa totoo lang ayaw kong mag-pacheck-up pero napilit din ako ng kamag-anak ko...tanggalin niyo lang ang ubo ko, masaya na ako."

ME: "Natutuwa po ako na matibay ang faith nyo. Totoo pong limitado ang kaalaman ng mga doktor dahil marami talagang limitasyon sa buhay na ito tulad ng maigsing buhay para makaipon ng halos lahat ng kaalamang makapagpapagaling. Kahit po ang utak nababalot ng bungo. Ganunpaman, mas tumataas ang tsansang mapagaling kayo sa alaga ng doktor dahil ang kaalaman ng doktor ay base sa mga experience ng mga napagaling na at mga masusing pag-aaral. Wag sana po kayong mawalan ng tiwala sa mga duktor dahil kami ay maaari ring maging instrumento ng Diyos para mapagaling kayo at iba pang maysakit. Maganda po na matibay ang pananalig ninyo sa Diyos at sana ganoon din sa mga instrumento Niya. (smile, smile)"

Anak sa Ina

2010-07-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

Inaasam-asam mo bang ako’y mabubuo

Nahirapan ka ba nang ipinagbuntis mo ako

Nangarap na ako’y maging babae o lalaki

Nagsuka, nagmanas, nahilo at naglihi?

Napangiti ba kita noong iniluwal mo ako

Sinong kamukha, magaling bang sumuso

Napuyat ba kita sa ingay ng aking iyak

Nagselos ba si ama, ang iyong kabiyak?

Ipinagdasal mo bang ako’y malusog

Nagkatotoo yata’t, nagsimulang bumilog

Pinakain mo ba ako ng mani at saging

Para tumalino at sayo’y mahambing?

Maaga ka bang bumangon sa umaga

Para mayroong masarap na agahan sa lamesa

Magluto, maglaba, magwalis, mamlantya

Maghatid sa akin patungong eskwela?

Nalungkot ka ba nang ako’y nagsimulang mapalayo

Kayod sa trabaho para ako’y mapagkolehiyo

Naghanda ka ba ng paborito kong ulam para maihain

Sa tuwing ako’y uuwi sa weekends na palaging bitin?

Hanggang langit ba ang iyong tuwa na ako’y tapos na

Umakyat sa entablado, nagyabang sa amiga

Nagpasalamat sa Diyos, at napabuntong-hininga –

Salamat sa Diyos, ang anak ko’y walang kapara?

Oo, Ina. Ina oo.

Oo. Lahat iya’y naipadama mo.

Oo. Mapalad ako. Ika’y ina ko.

Ina ika’y isang santo.

Ina, Ina, Ina... Ina kang walang kapara

Ina kang matatag, masipag, mapagpasensiya

Ang pag-ibig mo’y sintamis ng pulot

Ako’y bubuyog na iyong binusog.

Ina, Ina, Ina... walang hanggang pasasalamat

Sa aruga’t pagmamahal ako’y hindi naging salat

Ang iyong haplos, halik, payo, pagod, at pawis

Walang katumbas, wala, wala na, wala nang kaparis.

Dugtong sa Tula ni Ms. Layeta

2010-07-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

ngunit ang isang dula nga ba ay buhay
o isang pangarap na ibabaon ka sa hukay
wala sa ayos, di magawang magsuklay
kaya't umayos ka at simulang magbulay-bulay

ang pag-ibig nga ba'y tulad ng isang bulaklak
bago magbunga kailangang mamukadkad
tulad ba ito ng isang usok dapat muna'y sindihan
totoy na malaro sa apoy, mag-ingat ka

wag kang tataya sa jueteng ng buhay
ang pinapangarap na jackpot ay bulalakaw
wag ka nang umasa, maghanap ng gawaing kaulayaw
pagkat ang kubrador pag kumabig, aray hanggang hukay

matakot ka, mahirap maging kalaro ang pag-ibig!

A Face in the Morning

2010-06-30T07:51:00.001-07:00

The yellow bowl of energy is rising from the east

Throwing speckles of light on such an endearing plane

Sculpted with two lakes, a hill with a pair of caves

And a sweet habitat for school of silvery scales

Gradually, radiance starts to emit heat

And the bowl of light up in the east

Birds sing their pieces, toads home to their keep

And a pair of eyes ogling a beautiful land asleep

Flying Leaves

2010-06-25T23:58:00.000-07:00

Flying leaves

leaves

swaying leaves

leaves

laeves

levaes

leaves touching the ground

leaf leaf leaf leaf leaf

decaying leaves

leave

leav

lea

(.)

The Speech of the Mute

2010-06-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

Crystal now breaking
Clouds starting to coalesce
The morning sea rising
Bright days starting to darken

Look at the birds, no more warbling
Nor the dogs, no longer howling
There's the car, slowly rusting
The book gathering dust - nobody reading

Wait...don't put away the crescent
Don't allow the rain to come
There's still the old folk tune and old-time friends
Of the mute, centripetally gathering

Tempestuous End

2010-04-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

Tempestuous today, a generous future might be
Heart's hubris stepped over, the salubrious air blew the bamboos
Though bending...broke! because of pretentious winds
A journey incomplete -
With desire burned like wax in the nocturne

Senseless the stars, if their luminescence
Brighten too much to misunderstand nighttime
Sadly. seas engulf not only three-fourths amass
But also the heart that swells -
Bleeding, stupidly pumping beyond its ability.

End is a start and such an end starts
The delicacy of end's end suffuses the
Tremendous feeling of excitement
Beware, beware, (it cannot be stopped)
When the sun brightens the day, it throws darkness for the night.

Start the end of the tempest!

Ang Buhay ay PINAKBET

2009-11-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

Kalabasa
Manamis-namis
Tulad sa buhay na minsa’y
Masayang awit ang saliw

Ampalaya
Mapait
Kamatayan at sakit
Problemang dulot ay hapis

Okra at Sitaw
Madulas at Mahaba
Ang daan ng buhay ay sadyang madulas
Na ang kasiyahan ay panandalian lamang
Minsan nama’y pagkahaba-haba
Para sa malungkot na panahon na parang walang katapusan

Talong
Matabang
Minsa’y ika’y naliligaw
Di malaman ang papupuntahan

Alin ka man sa mga gulay ng pinakbet ngayon
O nakamtan mo na ang lahat ng gulay; okey lang yan
Tulad ng pinakbet sa kalan
Malapit ka ng maluto at mahain

(Pebrero 23, 2007)
picture downloaded from http://www.flickr.com/photos/chboogs/1853193374/

On Maguindanao Massacre

2009-11-27T06:25:00.000-08:00

The savage beasts of Maguindanao committed an unforgettable, unforgivable violence of bloodstain on our soil. The beasts did not just killed their direct political opponents but sacrificed lives of brave journalists in addition to the passengers of the Red Vios bound to a hospital.

Who could swallow this stark reality of massacre done in a manner like slaughtering pigs for the market? Even worse, mercilessly and inhumanely!

But more than that, the aftermath of the massacre gave the country a shake of its head and everyone turned and realized that a demon has been possessing the country. A demon of protean forms disguising himself as corrupt and savage politicians. And worse, even though fingers have been uninanimously pointed to the perpetrators, the Justice could not help but say He needs hard evidences.
WTF! The message flew quickly like left punch from Pacquiao to the Filipino face. Damn it!

Another dark side of the story, the perpetrator is a political ally of the President under the banner of Lakas-Kampi. The perpertrator was expelled from the party. Darker is when this this perpetrator's belt is cleared ultimately in the end of conviction of massacre.

As an audience watching this socio-political tragedy organized as if the rules of law and morality do not exist, the ordinary Filipino should just not end up as a neutral spectator but rather become a force in the scene to bring justice to the victims of this great injustice.

More importantly, may this abuse of power and force be a lesson for the Filipino and its fat money-hungry alligators seating in various political offices such as in Congress.

A lesson to the Filipino people: we can start and make change in this country if we participate actively in pursuing our democratic rights of participation.

A lesson to the alligators: there is such thing as KARMA and JUSTICE.

May JUSTICE befall on the Maguindanao Massacre Victims!

Hitting Palawan for the Third Time: a reflection

2009-06-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

This was my third time to visit Palawan. In May 2007, my classmates and I lived and spent some days in a far-flung, no-electricity area at the tip of Puerto Princesa City. My group conducted public health education, feeding, and health survey to the locals. That was a worthwhile experience away from the comforts of electrically powered appliances (TV, rice cooker, air conditioning) in exchange of simple life under the roof of a small house made of bamboo. In April 2008, we went to a coastal barangay in Busuanga Island. We ate fish freshly caught from the abundant sea everyday. We drank sweet juice of the newly pruned young coconut from the neighborhood. We taught the people about common diseases, breastfeeding, and good personal hygiene. We even had a chance to do actual physical check-up on them under the guidance of a volunteer doctor of an NGO. All these past experiences in Palawan were able to hone my skills in clinical practice and leadership and inspire my ego to serve and give back to my beloved country after finishing my studies.

April 2009. This was my third time to immerse into a beautiful, eco-rich province of diverse and unique culture and welcoming, hospitable people. It was not in a Palawan barrio setting but rather in a Palawan hospital. My classmates and I chose to get into the plexus of hospital experience in the provincial setting in order for us to collect observations and hands-on in the operations of a rural hospital. Back at school everyday, we have been exposed to the PGH setting which has a large population of both health providers (but still not enough) and patients (they never stop coming!). But to be involved and get acquainted with the playground of rural hospitals would be a unique addition to our learning experience. And if things went right, the experience may be an inspiring one - suffice to give us, future doctors, one more reason to stay and serve locally.

My classmates and I had clinical duties at Ospital ng Palawan everyday for eight hours for more than a week. We rotated in the ER and OR/DR of the hospital. We were personally welcomed by the Hospital Director, Dr. Juan. Some of us had the luxury of assisting in the OR for eye surgery, child delivery, and orthopedic surgery. Some were able to insert IV lines and suture minor wounds. We noted the system that makes the hospital run and became a part of that system. Aside from these clinical and administrative observations, I would say that I give particular special attention to the personal stories of the nursing aids, nurses, and doctors. There was this one nursing aid who happened to be a volunteer for three straight years without payment. She told me that she enjoys her job and acknowledges her part in health provision to the afflicted is as vital as what the nurse or doctor gives. She experiences self-satisfaction and fulfilment not from the monetary currency which has never came to her but from the smiles and greetings of patients she cared for in the hospital. Another story is by a doctor who was not originally from Palawan. After her community service in the province, she fell in love with the place and decided for herself that the province would be her future clinical abode. Notice that it was never money that arrested her heart in Palawan but the inner peace and happiness she enjoyed. One more interesting story is a senior OR nurse who has been in the profession and service for thirty long years which is years long way before I was born. She looks quite happy with her job and she deserves the respect she receives from the younger ones and even from the surgeons who operates on the operating table she prepares. The respect does not blossom from fear or seniority but from the heated passion and genuine service she has shown in her profession and to her patients.

These are stories of good value. But in the midst of good, not-so-good lurks and appears. Well, in the real world, nothing is perfect. Entropy is everywhere. Of course, I heard few not-so-good stories, hospital gossips, and complaints. I saw some flaws in the system which is not isolated to this particular hospital but epidemic in the multitude of hospitals in the country. But, why worry in a dark corner where there is a small-lit fire burning. To the light - that's where my senses should focus on and not to the engulfing darkness. No one would be inspired if one is not willing to be inspired and changed. When I look back to the stories, I couldn't help but be touched and inspired. These gems of inspiration keep the fire burning in my heart and mind to continue to believe that our country's ailment would heal soon if everyone is willing to take part and contribute in the healing process. I would say, because of these stories, I yearn to serve my country and her people more and more.

For the past summers in Palawan, the experiences were so pleasant and inspiring. I have written in my past reflections that I would love to stay and be at service to my people after I get my degree. I was able to recognize the gist of fulfilment to have my very own reasons to stay in the country and forget ambitions of 'greener pastures' abroad because Philippines is already a "greener pasture". I arrived at questioning myself what we really meant by greener. Is it the thick wallet a doctor gets in a foreign land where (I personally observed) the patient cannot even say thanks to his doctor and a lawyer stands by watching the doctor's ass as he (the doctor) goes through the medical procedures? Or is it a wallet with just enough bills in it (and sometimes plentier) of a doctor who enjoys the praise and gratitude of most, if not all, of the village people who were unable to pay in cold cash but rather in kind such as chicken, eggs, fruits, and veggies? I admit I have my bias to doctors staying but I am not trying to portray that all doctors who had gone to another country are money-hungry and/or end up in a very dim, sorry situation. Of course, reasons for working abroad are not solely dictated by economics for some people. But I would say it is for some! And the end of their stories differs in the end. Some would be self-fulfilled; some sorry. My point is we can try to make ourselves content with the little pearls and pleasures endemic to our archipelago. We can find our own happiness locally if we only give ourselves a chance to experience what's worth is it to stay for our country. It's a huge sacrifice and change of values that beget nationalism (the genuine kind!) which can be learned and practiced not only in puppy years but in the grown-up-dog period of life.

Teenage Pregnancy

2008-12-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

The six-week old has a right indirect inguinal hernia. But my global interest was arrested not by this baby boy but her mother. A fifteen year-old who was previously enrolled as sophomore high school student and stopped school to deliver her baby boy into this war-stricken and polluted world last October. Statistics say that getting pregnant approaches the nearest age women experience their menarche. Alas, going younger and younger these days. I can still recall my sophomore days when I have this war in me to stay awake during the soporific hours. An hour before the 3 o’ clock habit. But take a look at this young mommy out of school nursing her son while her husband four years her senior is still in high school having hard time in high school trigonometry and physics.

Questions started to pop out of my mind like Jack-in-the-box. Springing out and trying to frighten the already startled consciousness. Why is it there a growing minority of women who get pregnant early in their flower age? A part of my “hu-mind” (human mind) tried to answer this query. But another Jack came out of the box. Pop! Who is it to blame in this case? And another one, pop! Is it rightful to blame? After three Jacks, Pop Goes the Weasel played.

…

To answer these socially relevant intriguing questions, I had to browse Google and typed “why early pregnancy teenager” in the Search bar. An almost million hits revealed on my screen. On top of the list was from where-else-but Wikipedia. But I won’t show my fancy research here.

I want to hear from you.

Thinking & Unthinking

2008-12-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: As I lie on my bed, this comes out like a spam mail from the inner gyri of my 1400g brain. Like spam mails, don’t read this one.

I had a long list to do but i still choose to cram and finish (with finesse). And of course enjoying the moment that was supposed to be for high-priority (who the hell labels this) stuff but there goes Priority Reversal. That capricious moment I like myself to be stuck. It was addiction. Probably for the OB-C out there you would be arguing in polemics with my own way of enjoying life (and med life in particular). But this has been me for the longest time ever even existing before the dinosaurs were eradicated.

That’s me. In part of course. A very ancient thing. Impulse. Animistic. Like a seedling following the radiant energy of the sun. Probably this is also the reason why Dorothy and her friends followed the yellow brick road. Because sun is yellow. Uh oh!

You just can’t help it. You just follow to survive. Probably some shrinks would classify me under psych conditions related to poor impulse control. Oh how I love and hate Kaplan and Saddock at the same time like how god loves and hates his creation (humans) at the same time. That’s me, always in contradiction. But that just boils only for a fleeting moment. And then poof, i decide peacefully from mental turmoil to emotional tranquility.

Humans romanticized, satirized, exaggerized (Webster, please help me with my verbs) logic over impulse, over spirituality, over nature. But it doesn’t really have to be that way always. It doesn’t have to be the gold standard. I would say that logic is just one way of thinking. And un-logic is another style. Or would Descartes and his friends kick me out of space if I say “unthinking is one way of thinking”. Thinking process plays just like music. On a scrap music sheet, we have to play the notes and the rests. Rests mean silence to music aficionados. That’s thinking. Something plays in mind. Then silence. Then the virtual thoughts come again and then silence. Then Eureka! you have a great, or worse, stupid idea. Unthinking is thinking (believe me). A style of it. Just imagine you’re spaced out. Imagine putting cottons into your cranium instead of your soupy brain. Rest. Rest. Rest. No notes. But there’s music. Full of rests. A different kind of music. A deviant kind. And poof!!! Something great and novel popped out of your unthinking. Hahaha.

Einstein put e=mc2; I put thinking=unthinking. Probably the only differences are in the discharges recorded in EEG.

I want rest. Have a great thought. And the music plays.

Dramatology

2008-10-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This is a factory-reject product of my mind machine. And this is not about me but something that flew out of the Pandora box and penetrated my head. And that thing that bore into my head, for it to be taken out I should write - write, write, write...Here it is! Poof! My headache's gone.

I used to want to love. But romatic love seems to play no role in my life. Any opportunity to be so involved with faithful experience is amiss. Probably, romantic love really doesn’t evolve from anyone. Not love actually but romantic love. It’s not like lava flowing and oozing out of someone’s vessel. It’s not even exploding and falling like the shooting stars in the galaxy. It’s not something that just pops and you can’t stop. It’s something very much improbable and you don’t have the luxury to find time to sit and relax and have a good thought about it. Well love is a real blind or in total blindness. It doesn’t react. It’s just there lurking in the dark like the head-foot of snail crawling and hiding inside its shell and this movement alternates when someone is looking on its ugliness. Love is a sublime mystery to the eyes of men and even the microscopic view of a microscope cannot detect the probably simple secret behind this love mystery.

Love ruins. This has been a lot in my experience and occupies so much of my limbic system. I’m not gonna rattle about it but what concerns me most is I don’t want any more addition to this already crumbling emotional memory bank. I hate to imagine that pain has really memory. Pain retains in the brain. Studies have shown that pain experienced in infancy or even in utero are saved in the memory box in the complicated brain. This juxtaposes everything happy and sad next to each other. Like Barbie and Ken sitting next to each other purposely placed by the child playing on them, this is utterly sad when in reality Barbie doesn’t want Ken or even men in general. Love ruins and twins with pain. There is always breakage. No accidents but victims and suspects come in. In the process of love-making, and I don’t mean sex here, love concerns every aspect of the human being involved. Everything is harnessed to the limelight to prod one’s self to mutual utopia with the chosen love partner. Unfortunately, some partners aren’t really the ideal partners and they started to loosen from loyalty and honesty. Some play in the forests of other romantic affairs. Some just swim into a pool of randomized controlled trial for a love-and-found game. And all this results to pain and ruin to the victim. And who is the victim here? The one captivated in heart and in mind. The one who really cares. The one often who becomes overinvolved. The one who invests so much emotional currency. The one who imagined that the eternal partner of herhis life is in front of herhim. Sadly, I used to play this part in a overdrama that Filipinos love to watch on their television couchpotatoing until midnight. And I refused to accept that in the end I was a loser. That in the end, I am an unfinished art and a rejected hypothesis in the art and science of love-making.

Mistake

2008-10-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

You asked for coffee, I poured orange juice powder into your cup

You requested for peanut butter sandwich, you tasted tuna

You wished for a glass of water, I came with a bottle of red wine

You smiled and said ‘Hi”, I replied “I love you, too”

Everything was grand mistake

Purposeful mistake and I am SORRY.

Happy

2008-10-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

Warbling birds sitting on Norfolk trees

Singing songs, for long I wanted to hear

Sunrise giving a radient beam

Brushes everyone with a fresh "Good morning"

Sipping my coffee enjoying its recharging smell

Listening to the radio playing the newest of Britney

I wanted to dance and did some dancing

Maybe this is the way I always wanted to be: happy.

Hidden

2008-07-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

Turtle in shell
Introvert standstill
Like leaves falling
Nil soul not'cing

Rainbow in front
Of blind eyes what
Ghosts transparent
'xcept for third eye

Unspoken love
Of a mute lad
Revolving world
Member of a

System
Unknown
Hidden
Hidden

Transformer

2008-07-21T08:51:00.001-07:00

A soul falls for another soul
Great boundaries become hanging bridges
Teases become words of affection
Ugly becomes pretty
Stale becomes perfume
An efficient transformer
Of everything
With the push of mind and heart
And body – all the senses
From nil to an eternal gift
From a bud to a rose
A glass to a diamond
Even butterfly back to its cocoon
All in a swoosh of a magic wand
Be careful not to mistake

Abracadabra!

Light to dark
Life to death
Honey to blood
Love to obsession

Prayer for NoThings

2008-07-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

I have done nothing yesterday and today
Nothing I can be proud of
Nothing I can tell my mother
And talk about it over the table
Nothing I can declare to my friends
To start the Monday morning
And be proud
Rather I did things today
Things I should not have done
With my education and my disposition
Things unimaginable for a person as I
I regret today and yesterday
How I hope for a brighter tomorrow
A light source from the moon
Which light reflects from the sun
With all the stars atop
Twinkling, sparkling, waving to my soul
Giving ample light
For the day to come
Tomorrow
I hope things will be better
Amen

Window-shoppping

2008-07-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

Naglalakbay na parang barko ni Odysseus
Sa pusod ng Robinson’s Midtown
Parang paru-parong padapu-dapo
Sa sari-saring bulaklak
Ngunit di makatikim ng pulot
Pangmayaman kasi
Pang-iilan
Kaya’t pasulyap-sulyap na lang
Hanggang mapagod sa kakalinga
Sa mga tindahan ng sapatos
T-shirt at magarang pantalon at bag
Naglalaway sa labas
Ng mga bintang salamin
Habang ang iilan ay ngumangasab
Ng pritong manok na babad sa mantika
Ng tinapay na lublob sa asukal
Ng kapeng halos katumbas ng
Swelduhin ng isang saleslady sa SM
Patuloy ang paglalakbay
Hanggang makaramdam ng pulikat sa binti
At hanapin ang gawing labasan
Ika-ika patungong
EXIT

Ang Pag-ibig ng Isang Bulag

2008-07-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ang pag-ibig ay may sariling mata
Kaya naman ang bulag
Bulag lamang sa paningin
At hindi sa pag-ibig

Matamis magmahal ang isang bulag
Nais ka laging katabi
Maamoy, mahawakan, mahalikan
Parang asawang inuwian ng kanyang
Asawang nagtratrabaho sa Saudi
Miss na miss
Hawak dito, hawak doon
Haplos, halik

Ang bulag kapag umibig
Seryoso, simple, may respeto
Sa pag-ibig lang tutuon
Gagawing idolo ang ginigiliw
Tutulalaan ng mga matang nakapaskil
Sa mukhang dumaan sa daluyan ng bata
Ng kanyang ina

Bulag man, pero di bingi
Di pipi, di lumpo
Ang kakulangan sa paningin:
Pupunuan ng bibig
Ng matatamis na mga salita
Ng mga halik ng mga labing
May perpektong landing
Tulad ng mga eroplano sa NAIA
Kalkulado, maingat, di masyadong magaslaw
Pupunuan ng mga haplos ng kamay
Na sanay sa pangangapa
Kayang tukuyin ang mga taling
At peklat sa balat
Sensitibo at kayang magbigay ng aliw
Swabe, parang himas
Ng sabungero sa kanyang tandang

At higit sa lahat
Ang pag-ibig ng isang bulag: dalisay
Parang nabulag ng pangalawang ulit
Di titingin sa iba
Di susulyap sa mga may itsurang dumaraan
Habang nagde-date
Sa tabi ni Rizal sa Bagumbayan

Palawan Immersion 2008 - A Reflection

2008-07-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

The Palawan Immersion 2008 was a good and memorable experience sufficient for the groundwork of a personal inspiration to meet the mission and vision of the college. Aside from its pristine and sacred beaches grained with white sands and biodiversity, Palawan is home to genuinely hospitable people and good food. With all these God’s bountiful gifts concocted to create the beautiful province, Palawan had been a good venue for crafting my medical skills and developing my values imbued with the sense of nationalism, patriotism, and service.

To reach Brgy. Ocam-Ocam, our group of ten medical students has to ride the one-hour flight from Manila to Busuanga Island and then drive for another three hours from the arrival airport to a shore where we will take the banca for thirty minutes to reach our final destination. After the long travel of dusts and bumpy road, Ocam-Ocam was worth the weight of our buttocks burdened throughout the whole trip. No pain, no glory. Reaching Ocam-Ocam may not be all about glory but the natural experience close to nature and friendly townspeople was really eventful. The spirit of environmentalism and nationalism shout deep within me to protect this almost perfect, if not perfect, painting of Palawan in front of my almond eyes. Social responsibility rooted strongly in me to preserve this natural treasure for the next generation. Aside from these growing concern for the environment, I have learned about the local culture, esp. the Ocam-Ocam people’s simple life. Aside from daily food and sustenance, the local people value a good education and character. Listening to their stories as they translate how their children cross a mountain to attend to the nearest elementary and high schools, I was really inspired and awed with the kind of diligence and sacrifice exemplified by the schoolchildren. This is commendable! With the goodness and generosity of a Canadian couple, who also happened to be the host of our community immersion, a local elementary school was built in Ocam-Ocam. The long walk across the mountains was put to an end for the elementary students. This generosity of the Canadian couple extends not only to the foundation of the school but also to the local agriculture development and health service of the barangay. For a long time, I thought that these kinds of people were extinct from this highly industrialized and competitive world. Well, I was wrong. It was a worthwhile experience to have a direct personal experience with these good people and made me ask: Why can’t I help alleviate the sufferings of my kababayan when other people, foreign to this country, can? They say “Charity begins at home”. Clearly this Canadian couple treated Ocam-Ocam their home and the Ocam-Ocam people, their family.

Aside from these developments of personal values, my medical skills were also developed. I was fortunate enough to attend to some children and mothers. (Thank you to them for giving me the opportunity to practice my craft!). My skills on history-taking and physical examination grew to a more competitive level. With this medical mission in the community, I realized that a person comes to me for a certain specific complaint but addressing that disease doesn’t end my medical detective job. In my experience rather, with a patient consulting for a skin lesion, I wrote on the diagnosis pad: scabies, lice infestation, dental caries, and common warts. This is one of the theories lectured in classrooms during drowsy hours all about: that some diseases are clumped together in a single person or even community dictated by the socio-economic or even cultural factors. It’s like a package deal!

After the immersion in Ocam-Ocam, we have to visit Puerto Princesa City. We took the 12-hr ship navigation. Unfortunately due to bad weather, our visit and consultation to Sitio Puting Buhangin (our site of community immersion last year) was cancelled. But we were so lucky to have with us Dr. Socrates, Dr. Ding, and the BHWs of Brgy. Mangingisda. Dr. Socrates gave as a tour in the Palawan Provincial Hospital and the BAHATALA, which he founded. His stories are very much inspiring. I look up to him as a good model. He is an embodiment of a five-star physician the college is dreaming about for her students. His expertise extends up to the field of geology, writing journal articles in both local and international publications. Another good role model for medical students is Dr. Ding. The Agape Rural Program is her brainchild. She is very much active in the delivery of health services to the different islands of the archipelago. She is also a well recognized and multi-awarded doctor in the international scene. In the course of our immersion, our group has been consulting with her. Before we conclude our immersion, our group met her in her office. She facilitated a discussion on our learning experiences and a synthesis of our immersion activities. Dr. Ding is an epitome of the saying: if there’s a will there’s a way. She wants health delivered to the far-flung areas. Apparently, with the help and support she outsourced from several charitable institutions, she was able to realize her dream for the underserved. Lastly, our experience with the BHWs of Brgy. Mangingisda provided an image of condition of health system in their barangay. They have a good referral system and provide a quality health service to their community. With the short time we have with them, they were able to discuss to us Herbal Medicine which they advocate in their barangay. With the ten DOH-endorsed medicinal plants, they were able to treat a good number of symptoms and diseases. They also showed us live specimens plants which were homegrown in a small garden in front of their health center. They were also able to produce their own packaged medicinal products out for sale very cheaply and reasonably priced. Their barangay relates an excellent example of good health delivery system. When good leadership, teamwork and service comes hand-in-hand in the community, nothing is impossible. For Brgy. Maningisda, this worked! With the up-close experience with Dr. Soc, Dr. Ding, and the BHWs, I realized that we, Filipinos, still have hope for a brighter future. Philippines can still wake up from the long deep slumber and rise up as a strong nation in the face of the next generations.

With the medical education I am receiving now from the premier National University subsidized by the government fund anchored on the taxes of the Filipino people, I have the unwritten responsibility to give back to my countrymen. But with the ten-day experience in Palawan, the foundation of this social responsibility was fortified and braced. I became more willing to serve locally and forget the lure of honey and green pastures. The Ocam-Ocam community paints a picture of the Filipino people who are very much loving and deserving for a quality health service. Interestingly, Palawan Immersion this year (and even other immersions of this kind), for the second time, was really unforgettable and values-changing.

UP KASANAG and Nine Organizations Celebrate PHEW

2008-03-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

The UP Samahan ng mga Kalusugang Sangay ng Agham (UP KASANAG) spearheaded the 1^st Public Health Educators Week (PHEW) in January 25-29, 2008 in UP Manila. Other participating organizations wereAssociation of Physical Therapy Students (APTS), Bigkis ng mga Iskolar para sa Bayan tungo sa Makabuluhang Pagbabago (Bigkis UPM), Collegiate Association of Speech Pathologist (CASP), Mu Sigma Phi Fraternity, Phi Lambda Delta Sorority, Public Health Arts Circle (PHAC), Social Transformation Advocacy towards Public Health (STAPH), Society of Occupational Therapy Majors (SOTM), and UP Hygiene Society (HySoc). PHEW is a week-long celebration of organization with public health initiatives, especially public health education. There was a PHEW Exhibit at the PGH Central Block from January 25-29.

Strum for Public Health Education Concert

The highlight of PHEW was the Strum for Public Health Education Concert featuring the Sta. Isabel Guitar Ensemble and NAMCYA Guitar Champions Eugene Sean Aleta and Kevin Echaluse at the PhilAm Life Auditorium on January 26. The concert repertoire was composed of guitar compositions from the Renaissance, Baroque, Classical, Romantic, and Contemporary Periods. Some of the pieces performed were Praetorius’s Bransle dela Rayne, Mozart’s Minuetto, Penella’s El Gato Montes, and the Brazilian folksong Sambalele. Prof. Dong de Dios, the ensemble master, also gave a short lecture on the history of guitar entitled The Guitar through the Centuries. Sta. Isabel Guitar Ensemble is composed of Liomar Mero, Ian Jacob Lavado, Ericson Malelang, Juan Miguel Abella, Dan Kenneth Alberto and their mentor Edgardo de Dios. Kevin Echaluse played Legnani’s Caprice Op.20 no.2 and Dyens’s Tango en Skai. Eugene Aleta performed Tarrega’s Capricho Arabe and Gragnani’s Sonatine Op. 6. The concert ended with a standing ovation.

Public Health Education Activities

A public health lecture entitled Common Zoonotic Diseases from Pets was delivered by Dr. Alice Bungay of the Department of Microbiology, College of Public Health on January 27. There was also a film-showing of the 1^st Quisimbing-Escandor Film Festival Winners and Entries on January 28 in cooperation with the Mu Sigma Phi Fraternity. Both activities were held at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) Conference Room. A thanksgiving mass was also celebrated at the PGH Chapel on January 29 at 5 PM.

New Connections among Organization for Public Health Initiatives

PHEW marks the start of connection among different organizations and envisions a strong partnership among the organizations to achieve bigger and effective public health projects in and out the UP Manila Campus.

Penitensya

2007-04-12T01:46:00.000-07:00

Mabigat na krus bitbit ng mamang lasing sa bilog at ram na pinagsaluhan

Ng mga kasamang may panata sa Mahal na Araw

Gegewang-gewang ang mabigat na krus, nananahi ng sinulid sa kalsadang

Tila mabibiyak sa init ng araw na nakatunganga sa kalawakan.

Batang may bitbit na tabo na may lamang tubig poso

Na may halong dugo: hugasan para sa bleyd

Na gamit pangguhit nang mababaw o malalim sa balat ng mga mamang

Pumaparada sa kalye kasama ang buong barkada para sa panata.

Sa tapat ng bawat istasyong itinayo ng bawat baranggay ng bayan

Hihinto ang mga mamang nabanggit sa harapan ng Mahal na Ina

O Mahal na Anak na nakapako sa Krus; magdarasal

Hihingi ng tawad o nakatihaya o nakataob lang, humihinga, alin ba?

Sa simbahan ang tuloy pagkatapos ng mahabang lakad

Hihiga nang nakataob sa batong lapag at mahuhulog ang ilang dahon ng bogembilya
Mula sa kanilang mga koronang yari sa nasabing matinik na halaman

Ilang patak ng dugo at pawis ang makikilahok sa naipong mga alikabok sa sahig.

Ang mamang lasing pagkatapos ng mahabang pagkakahimlay sa malamig na sahig na marmol

Lalabas ng simbahan, sisinagan ng nanggagalaiting araw

Pagod, gutom, pawisan, nagdurugo. Ang sugat mahapdi.

Masakit ang ulo o hang-ober? Panata o “panata lang”? Pare, inuman ulit!

Just Plain Coffee

2007-02-24T01:54:00.000-08:00

Darkly brewed

Freshly extracted from the sacrificial beans
Drained to continual drip
Flowing through the filter

Whispering…wake up!

The aroma in the salubrious air
Escaped recently from volcanic boil
Rising vapors over the earthen cup
Diminishing waves on the air-liquid interface

Telling…wake up!

Strongly bitter, immaculately unsweetened
Black but not of macabre, no imminent horror
Shot of caffeine, satisfyingly addictive
For the yielding eyes challenged by drowsiness

Shouting…wake up!

Multo

2007-02-24T01:49:00.000-08:00

Sa una’t sa sapul sa buhay ng tao

May multo nang laging nakagabay

Kasa-kasama, bitbit-bitbit

Parang butiking sa dingding nakadikit

Mula pagkabata hanggang pagtanda

Ang multo sa mga bata

Multong likha ng mga nakatatanda

“Tahan na kundi darating ang mga mumu”

“Nangunguha sila ng bata, tahan na”

Ang multong epektibo sa pagpapasunod ng mga bata

Ang multo sa mga dalaga’t binata

Multong minsang kinatatakutan

Ngayo’y kaya ng harapin at tapatan

Ng walang takot at kaba

Ang multong kahit hintayin, di dumarating

Ang multo ng mga matatanda

Multong sila mismo ang naghahanap at may gawa

Kaiba sa likha nilang multo para sa mga bata

Anak ng kasalanan, prutas ng puno ng sobrang yabang

Ang multong di madaling paalisin

Iba’t ibang anyo ng multo

Nakakatakot, mailap, bunga ng poot

Multong peke, multong totoo

Multong pansamantala, multong pangmatagalan

Ang multong sa mga tao sumisipsip ng buhay

DASAL

2007-02-23T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ama

Papuri sa Inyo

Ikinagagalak ko

Na ang oras na ito

Ay isang komunikasyon sa Inyo

Ama

Maraming salamat

Sa mga umaapaw na biyaya

Ninyo sa akin araw-araw

Sa aking malusog na pamilya

At mga kaibigan

Salamat sa kahapon…

Ngayon…

Bukas…

Kahit na ang kahapon

Ay isang eksenang

Punong-puno ng hapis

Hapis ng sugatang puso

Pusong walang tigil magmahal

Pagmamahal na walang patutunguhan

Kahit na ang ngayon

Ay panahon lamang ng paghilom

Ng isang puso

Pusong napapagod din pala

Napapagod at nagdedeliryo

Parang mamatay na

Kahit na ang bukas

Na may kasiguruhan

Na ang pusong kahapon na nasaktan

Na ngayon ay naghihilom

Ay magmamahal muli

Naku! Pusong di natuto

Patuloy pa rin sa paghahanap

Ng sariling bangin

Ama

Maraming salamat

Dahil ang puso ay may sirkulo

Ang ikot

Magmamahal

Masasaktan

Maghihilom

At babalik na naman sa simula

Magmamahal

Masasaktan

Maghihilom

Ama

Maraming salamat

Na kahit ako ay di mapalad

Sa naturang sirkulo sa aking puso

At pagkatao

Ay nariyan pa rin kayo

Para sa akin

Sa buong sanlibutan

Hindi napapagod sa sirkulo

Ang sirkulo

Magmamahal

Masasaktan

Maghihilom

At iikot muli

Amen.

(Pebrero 23, 2007)

Finding Love (Again?)

2007-01-21T07:58:00.000-08:00

You are the sun that brightens my moon

I reflect your happiness, your smile

The stars around us keep on twinkling

For they are my allies knowing –

How much bliss I feel in your presence.

But we are like the major components of the universe

You are the non-living; I the living

I am the one with feelings for you

You are of precious handsomeness but –

You can never return my love so deep.

You are a rock; more fortunate against others, you are a diamond

With this, you arrested my attention

I looked upon you with a weak heart

Enough for me to ponder –

How sweet we will be together forever.

But then, you were always just passive

I, active, always making heat

You were just emitting them

You are static; I dynamic –

How I wish gravity pull us together.

But then I am always the artist

You are the mathematician, the scientist in his lab

You calculate your thoughts, pondering on the why’s and how’s of things

But I so melodramatic, finding love (again?) –

The love I found in you.

Paskong Nag-iisa

2007-01-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

Wala ng Paskong mas sasaya kung ikaw ang kapiling

Ang Pasko’y iinit kung ikaw ang katabi

Oo nga’t naririyan mga kamag-anak at kaibigan

Ngunit ang Pasko’y kulang kung wala ka sa bilang

Sa bata ang Paskong puno ng pagkain at regalo’y sapat na

Ngunit pagsapit ng bente at may iniibig, ang Pasko’y ibang iba

Dapat naririyan ang ginigiliw kahit wala na ang iba

Pwede ng kahit walang regalo basta’t haplos mo ang kamay niya.

Bakit nga ba pag tumatanda na mahirap ng makamit ang kasiyahan

Di tulad ng bata, pag may kendi’t tsokolate’y tuwang tuwa na

Ang matanda sa pagsapit ng Pasko minsa’y wala ng gana

Ngunit kapag may iniibig, at nasa kanyang piling, ang Pasko’y parang piyesta

Subalit ang problema’y pumamapasok kapag ang ginigiliw ay out of reach

Ni text ng Merry Christmas! ay di man lang makamit

Parang tuloy ang mukha’y Santa Claus na nalugi

Bakit nga ba ang tiyan ay madaling busugin kaysa damdamin?

Isang Pag-ibig na (Walang) Patutunguhan

2007-01-21T07:52:00.000-08:00

Bitbit mo and kariktan ng mundo

Na s’yang nagbibigay-linaw sa pagod na mga mata ko

Suot mo ang barong may-angking PINAKAmayuming disenyo

Nais kitang ternuhan ngunit laging iisa lamang ang PINAKA sa mundo

Ibig kong sungkitin ang prutas ng ‘yong mga magulang

Walang kaparis sa aking mga nakadaupang-palad

Ngunit ang panungkit ay maigsi

Di sapat upang ika’y aking maangkin

Ikaw ang ilaw na aking pinili

Sa dinami-raming lampara, ako sayo lamang lumapit

Pagkat ang ilaw mo’y may kakaibang init

Ngunit ako sayo’y napaso, nasunog, hapis ang sinapit

Isa lamang ako sa mga nilalang

Gawa ni Bathala na walang kapara

Gayun din ikaw, likha lamang

At Siya – di ako, di ikaw – ang magtatakda ng mga magkakatuluyan

Ang panterno mahirap mayari

Ang panungkit, di sapat, maigsi

Ang lampara, sa gamu-gamo’y may distansya pa rin

At ang Diyos na makapangyarihan, may sariling mithiin

Death across

2006-12-28T01:48:00.000-08:00

Agony in love I found on the bequeathal from the throne of solitude

Caress from the man I love, you, dream of a thousand

Enthralled by your cool handsomeness, faith to keep me sane
Grapple with the air of somnolence; hail you on your bed

Intake of food and water, I, just to keep awake

Kill this feeling for him or late and I will be dead

Monster this feeling has become; nihil where it came from

Oh, Lord, forgive this consequence, pallor I have become

To be queen of yours I pray, robbed always by your presence

Struck by your gestalt, torn like dress newly cut

Unthinkable this sensation, vanity here I come; Oh!

Wait! Wait! Wait! Do not put X on my name, please, put me into your zone.

The Whip of Books

2006-10-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hey, there! take a look at our race
We are borne out of ingenuity
Can you at least give us a chance to teach you?
Don’t judge us by our cover!

Do you think it’s easy for our Creator to bring us to being?
It took Him courage
You know, we cannot create ourselves
You can possibly create one of us, if you have at least the idea we exist.

Hey, do not look at me like that
I’m not going to eat you alive
Although I can affect you, eat your beliefs, unless you are my Master
Oh! Correct me if I am wrong.

THE KING’S DREAM

2006-10-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

The king in his usual nightclothes wakes up in a building. He is inside a building with a long corridor - like a phallic symbol. The corridor is full of numbered doors. Then, door 69 catches the king’s attention. It is ajar. He nears the door, stops in front of it, takes a deep breath, and pushes it. The door swings open. The king can hardly see a figure inside the room so he crosses the room dauntlessly and curiously. Inside, smells of human flesh like the scent of sweet honey bees hunt for floats in the air. When the king is a meter away from the obscured figure, and the scent becomes stronger and easier to decipher, the great, mighty king stumbles. In front of him is a naked guy twenty years junior his age. The king has goosebumps. “Goosebumps because of what?” the king asks himself. But the naked guy eyeing the king with lust and naughtiness reads the king’s mind as if the both of them have telepathy. The king understands the guy reads his question in mind. “Why are you here?” the naked guy says in a sweet seducing voice. The king notices the seduction and does not know what to do. And still, the king has no plan of going out of the room. “I do not know” the regaled king answers in a soft voice as if nothing has left of his energy to speak clearly. “I saw the door ajar that is why I entered this room.” Fearlessly, the king nears the guy till they are only an inch apart. Their breaths reach each other’s body. Inside the king’s mind, thoughts play like a cinema, like a movie in the twenty first century, like a triple X! Of course, the king is unfamiliar of his thoughts. It is his first experience thinking of that and because he lives in a different era. And when the king’s and the figure’s body touches, the king’s heart beats faster.

The king is known of his bravery and sword-fighting. He was crowned king when his father died during a battle against the Pink Kingdom. But this new king is exceptional! All his battles against the forces of other kingdoms, especially that of the Pink Kingdom, had been won. After winning his battles, all women of his town gather around him and give him pleasure in whatsoever way. This has been the tradition since his forefathers. He is disliked (although this dislike is not discussed politically but only in a man’s heart) by a number of males in his kingdom, even his knights around his Royal Table, because he has the claw of a hawk on every woman’s neck under his sovereign. SHE is controlled by the king.

And now, the king trips 180 degrees. He is now commanded by the naked figure. The figure is unfamiliar to him. He is not hypnotized, he knows. He just follows the commands of the figure with utter joy. He cannot explain the joy inside him. His mind plays upon the idea that this is what he really wants, and not the tradition - the tradition to savor all women’s breasts, their bosoms. He tries to defeat his thoughts but the thoughts are unconquerable. Instead, his mind shifts automatically to thinking about the kingdom’s tradition. He realizes the tradition holds his acts. Commands his acts. Makes him compelled to enjoy women and not men. And now, he accepts his first defeat. A defeat, which makes him real free. He knows he will be reaching his safe harbor. The naked guy is his harbor, his knight, his defender, HIS.

I AND CONSCIENCE’S DEATH

2006-10-06T07:43:00.000-07:00

I died
"I" killed myself
I was subconscious
When "I" committed suicide
It was not me, but "me"

Why will "I" kill me?
Am I stubborn, am I sick?
Did I offended "I"
Or because I won over "me"?

Isn’t it I the same as "me"
And who’s talking now
Is it I?
Is it "I"?

Why did you kill me?
Was I a problem to you?
Did I give you headaches?
Have I wronged you?

"I" answered:
‘Coz you no longer serve "I"?
"I" am always right, your conscience
Let us clear this: you killed us.

Lie dead and be free

2006-08-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

Lie dead fake it

Disturbance cradles you asleep

Torment no wonder

Happiness anesthetic

Partake with breathlessness

Adjacent to nothingness

Be free and take it

No move poisoned by lead

Tantrum evolved with well callused feet

Feet to travel heaven or hell

Just pick one

Play dead just once and be free

GAYS

2006-08-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Feminized XY pampered with style
Prayers of a man jumbled from retrospection

Low voice forgotten

Womanhood triumphed

Mechanics possessed essence thrived

Trot with grace power on a lace

Totem reached

On stage hooted chaotic order

Prayer of a weed

Growing anywherewhen

Please no pulling me –says weed

Weed struggles

survives

dominates

The king tripped

One eighty degrees

di anbalansd world

2005-08-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

mahal ko wala sa akin
nasa kanya
crush at love ng bestfriend ko
may gusto sa akin
ayaw sa bestfriend ko
bakit sa mundo laging di pantay
bakit sa mundo lahat kakaiba
bakit sa mundo laging iisa

Love taken for granted

2005-08-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

your eyes strike a lance into my being
you make me bleed with sweat
you punch me with your soft touch
with the touch (from you) i have never imagined
i loved you ever since
that day when you made me succumb into your identity
i was lost then
hoping to resist your powerful gravitating aura
i loved you much
and i showed you i loved you
and you seem to feel nothing
and i told you i loved you
and you feigned to be the poorest deaf in the world
i showed you, i told you
but you have taken it all for granted